Archive for January, 2012

I apologize for the tardiness of this entry!

2011 was an especially trying year. I usually make resolutions just for fun… not very gung-ho about it. This year, however, I’m going to be a bit more passionate about what I want. All I aspire to be is HAPPY. I don’t have high hopes for the new year… sad? Not at all. To be honest hoping hasn’t gotten me anywhere. This year will be all about ‘doing’. I don’t know that my efforts will bring me to where I want to be but hey, I will make the best of whatever comes my way.



1. I have a baby! His name is Kato and he’s a husky.

2. Moving with Christine (Elephant) and Lucas into a great place in Somerville, MA. I’m officially on my own!

3. First tattoo

4. Concerts, Shows, Museums, Friends.

5. I was in a movie! kinda, haha.


1. Kato lost his tail in a freak accident. It involved him jumping out of a moving car.

2. Major relationship issues.

3.  Missed 2NE1 in NYC!!

4. Completely losing touch with dance.

5. Grandpa’s suicide.


1. Get: New job and maybe go for that Masters.

2. Visit family more frequently.

3. Write, Travel, Sing.

4. Learn how to play the piano or guitar.

5. Regain a positive mentality.

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8 days and counting! I can’t totally remember the logistics of my private deck and that coupled with the fact that I toured the apartment at nighttime leaves me with a very vague sense for my plant growing capabilities. Still, fingers crossed, I hopefully can grow an Eden in and outside of my apartment!

Plants that grow well together:

Plan to grow

  • Beets with Lettuce
  • Borage with Strawberries
  • Marigolds with Tomatoes
  • Marigolds with Cilantro (I love me some cilantro)
    “I re-started my cilantro from seed while my basil flourished, and within 5 weeks, had a great cilantro crop, and came home one day to find it crawling with white flies, which infested my basil. I ended up tossing both plants in frustration. Just starting over from seed now in larger pots with more root space, and marigolds to help repel the white flies should they try to come back. I’m no expert yet, but I figure a few more cycles of mistakes are yet to come :-)” — MMaves
  • Succulents- When watering Cacti and Succulents in the home, wait until the soil is completely dry before watering. Then water well, and let any excess water drain off. For good lighting, Southern and Western exposure windows are the best, although North and East will suffice with cautious watering. Fertilize sparingly every 4-6 weeks April through September. Allow the plant to remain dormant for a period of rest with little or no watering December through February.
  • Wheatgrass

“Mist twice a day”

Getting Started

  • Chicken Manure (Nitrogen fertilizer)
  • Containers w/ drainage holes, rocks to aid drainage and retain potting soil.
  • Container appropriate soil.

Also, mounting a bunch of air plants on the walls of my apartment

“Magic Wand, make my monsters grow!!”

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Moving in 15 days! So many ideas… must remember them.


1. 3v hooks + clothespin= storage for gloves, etc…


1. Make my own hanging organizer from canvas totes

2. Store extra linens and blankets in suitcases.

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1. Upright shelving

Landlord friendly option- curtain tension rods strategically placed

2. Organize d’em potlids- Wire magazine rack

3. Then on to pots- Ikea rail system

4. Paper Towel Rack, in line w/ design aesthetic of living room guitar holder


1. Update tiles

2. The many uses for tension rods

Living room

1. Hang my instruments

2. Hide the modems-

3. Paint those frames

4. Reupholstering furniture


1. wrapping paper storage- wires loft

2. Under-shelf shelf

3.  Spray paint accents in brushed metal color to ensure uniformity

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As a personal tradition I’ve always had a running list of resolutions that carryover from year to year. Each year I cross resolutions off and add new ones on. After the year I had in 2011, I felt I had outgrown my list of resolutions. So much was thrown into stark perspective, I failed to see what a list could do for my life. Still, Winette encouraged me to highlight my year. So here’s to the good, the bad, the ugly, and the cosmetic life surgery I will need to budget in.


  1. My very first boyfriend only vacation to the beautiful island of Vieques, PR. The only vacation I have ever had that did not increase my blood pressure.
  2. I lived in close proximity to many of the Cambridge squares. It has been two years since I’ve had a routine that involved a little bit of walking, a little bit of coffee, a little bit of sun and a lot of chatting each and every weekend.  Something about that habit was cathartic for me. This year, I made it happen– it made me realize I am passionate for coffee and maybe one day I will make something of it. Foreshadowing ensues!
  3. I finally got the hang of journal entries. I know, the easiest, right!? For whatever reason, it did not jive with my mind. I would have learned Game Theory faster than I caught on to debits and credits. Go figure, but at last my suffering is mostly over.
  4. A positive for me in 2011 was that more of my life didn’t fall apart, and I am still relatively healthy. This seems like a cop-out, but honestly, 2011 has been one of the most difficult years of my life. I spent ten months of the year putting myself back together mentally and emotionally. I am in a better place, but I’ve still got a long way to go. Here’s to 2012, hope it’s a good one.


  1. My puppy, Pancakes, caught Giardia which was the first time she was ever actually ill.  I was a worried mother. I spent hundreds of dollars getting her treatment and being conned by Banfield. She’s healthy now, but I cannot erase the pain of worrying whether my dog’s condition would get worse.
  2. My best friend from back home moved to the Cayman islands, and while we are not all over each like some good friends, she is pretty important to me. My other very good friend, ahem Winette, moved to New York. I am very choosy about my friends; I do not have many because I am not down with that casual acquaintance besties BS. Of the handful of really good friends I have two moved away and thus my isolation increased.
  3. In line with the friends motif, my true friends became evident during the hardest moment of my life. It became very clear who actually had the sensibilities to care and empathize and those who could not be bothered. I realized how necessary it is for a grieving person to have people reach out to her. It helps her remember the world isn’t full of shittiness and pulls her away from falling into a deep abyss of depression. One person in particular, I considered very close. Yet, over some trivial issues, said person decided not to contact me when I may have needed that person most, and on top of that effectively made that part of my life harder. Again, I lost another good friend and I felt more isolated than ever.
  4. (and 5.) So, to get to the event I alluded to this entire post: the death of my mother. It is so heavy on my heart that it is worth two bullet points. My family dynamic was tumultuous at best, full of heartache and anger. Through my life, my mother acted as mediator and was the liaison keeping my family together. She was the voice of reason, understanding and optimism. When she passed away, the fate of my family’s bond teetered on a thin wire. Would my father and I fight constantly again? What would motivate me to visit any of my relatives? How can my grandparents survive, at such an old age, the death of their youngest child? Who would take care of my brother emotionally? Even harder than those questions was the guilt I dealt with for not being a better daughter, not being financially stable enough to care for her myself and for many other issues in which I believed, whether justified or not, I had disappointed her.  I grappled with this for most of 2011, I lost sleep and withdrew from a lot, and so marked the lowest point of my life thus far.


  1. Foster relationships with people I genuinely care about and avoid those who are flakey and two-dimensional
  2. Education- Series 7, driver’s license.
  3. Traveling- the Caymans, California
  4. To have a better relationship with my boyfriend, 2012 will be our 10 year anniversary. yep, that is a DECADE.
  5. Have a year without regret.

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Back in the day when XANGA was cool, I wrote the below. This is March 2005 so I was 17, a senior in high school.  I am so silly. Most of it still rings true, but some of it is sillay – crossing out what isn’ t true nomore

10 things about me

1. i sleep with 4 blankets, 7+ pillows and my care bear.  This makes me seem like a princessy spoiled brat who won’t settle for less. maybe i am.Care Bear is at home 😦 Instead, I get to hug a man every night so I still get to play princess

2. I collect Ezra [he’s hilarious] columns from that free boston magazine and poems from the Night Lights/Pillow Fights section of the Sunday Comics. No such thing in NYC. I only read AMNY now, still free, but no comics!

3. when i have to write an essay for school, i spend over four hours on it. even if it’s a draft. sometimes i work from 6 pm to 7 am in the morning and get no sleep. if you have a chance to get your essay to be as close to perfect, why not take it?  I was still a crazy schoolaholic in college. yeah, summa cum laude! Now, I think the term is workaholic 

4. i think about how life would be like if i lived in the suburbs or was  “the new girl” in school.  I still feel like a new girl in New York City, larger population

5. i create presents for friends. for their birthday and randomly. i’m a very giving person. i love spending time making the creative stuff and seeing their expressions when they get it, but sometimes i wish that they could make things for me too instead of buying me materialistic goods.  I am beginning to create things again, slowly. My creative job tires my creative after-work self. My efforts are focused on my adventure book right now, and maybe it’ll grow!  As for gifts, honestly I  have everything I could ever need or more so I don’t need gifts anymore. 

6. i believe that i was a ugly child. that’s right. UGLY! no one will see those pictures, well except for helen! True that

7. i’m scared of my stomach being bigger than my chest. [don’t laugh! you know you girls are scared of this too!] True that still

8. if i were a phobia, i’d be commitmentphobia. if i were a disorder, i’d be ocd [obsessive compulsive disorder]. Sorta true that

9. a lot of times i feel left out [and sometimes i make myself left out] i am so evil to myself

10. when i’m mad, i organize my closet [separate the summer and winter clothes. put the winter clothes in order by color. put the summer clothes in order by color. put skirts in one section, jeans in one section and pants in one section] and clean my room.l i honestly rarely get angry. life isn’t perfect, but I am happy. I also don’t have a closet. if i get angry, i get sad, equals sad face

8 Things I want to do before I die

1. ride in a hot air balloon.

2. date different types of men [the smart guy, the funny guy, the badass] and find out what i like. this never really happened, but i love my boyfriend of almost 7 years. i don’t need anyone else

3. travel and volunteer around the world. i want to give back.

4. write a famous novel that will be remembered forever. something like Charles Dickens. he’s good. my writing sucks now

5. learn to play an instrument. someone teach me! it’s not too late! i can experience this thrill through my future child

6. appear in a FIVE STAR movie. yes, i can act.   i can’t really act. i was only in one production for the Boston Center of the Arts 

7. find my husband, have the perfect job [i want to be a magazine editor! i definitely have the experience] and perfect kids [four to be exact], and have the time of our lives. Writing skills are out the window. Digital is the place to be. My stomach can’t handle four kids, perhaps two. I am crazy

8. take a dance class. any dance class. BINGO BANGO. My boyfriend and roommate want to do this too! My boyfriend has dance experience and my roommate is a trained dancer so I may be in the back of the class for shame

7 ways to win my heart

1. intelligence is f-ing sexy 🙂 I have a boyfriend who got his CPA in four months (most people take up to a year), and was sorta a big deal in Boston for his auditing skills. Sorta nerdy, but I am into it

2. good communication and you’ve got to get me laughing Boyfriend is a class clown. Done deal 

3. be ambitious. hotness When I met Jimmy during our freshmen year of college, his goal was to get 3.0s in each of his classes. I laughed at his face and said my goal was 4.0. Then, his goal became 3.3, and soon 3.7. He is more ambitious in the real world

4. you don’t have to be a stud. just be cute in your own way. i don’t like guys for looks. He has pretty eyes, cute chubby cheeks, and strong arm muscles

5. respectful. how will anyone respect you if you don’t respect anyone else? Yes mam

6. be a “family man” – someone who loves kids, family, things like that. He is definitely a family man, and likes to support his parents and help his cousins and my family out

7. be much bigger and just taller than me DUH

6 things I believe in All True

1. Life is never fair but you have to deal with it. 

2. pajamas are the comfiest piece of clothing in the world.

3.compliments make everyone happy. compliment someone.

4. no one is ever fully good.

5. big dreams don’t just happen with big thinking; it happens with plans and action.

6. one year, you think you’re older and wiser. the next year, you think that in the last year, you weren’t really older and wiser; you were still a baby, but now you are. the next year, you feel the same way and so it goes on

5 things i’m afraid of All True

5. ghost. yes i believe in them.

4. dying while in an elevator or train.

3. being lonely for the rest of my life, ultimately turning into a “cat bag lady”.

4. losing. i hate to lose. not as in games, but as in life.

5. being and looking stupid. i must educate myself.

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